When you learn the story of babies in orphanages, you realize how wrong the generalization “Babies can cry all the time, regardless of place and time” is wrong.
Unfortunately, this situation is much more common, especially if these orphanages are in countries with low humanitarian conditions.
Babies cry to get their wish heard and to get it. But what if there is no one listening to these announcements?
They cry when they are hungry or want to be with you so that their wishes come true. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as “getting what you want by crying” in orphanages.
Babies who cannot find any response to their cries become silent over time. Whatever their problem is, they try to deal with it themselves. Few respond by crying when it’s time to sleep. Many fall asleep, unconscious from exhaustion.
The sound of silence prevails in the corridor as they go to a neglected orphanage and head towards the ward where the children sleep. You would think they were asleep, but when you enter one of the wards, you can see that they are quiet despite being awake.
Your first reaction is, “Oh, how quiet they are! The good guys, so they’re happy with the way they are.” but this silence is the silence of despair.
Babies are left alone for long periods of time because caregivers have many children to take care of.
Their silence means they stop wanting to have their needs met. If you look carefully at some of the children who have given up, you will see them sitting alone and shaking their feet.
Studies have shown that this behavior is an effort to feel something rather than feeling nothing and a reaction to a lack of human love.
At feeding time, babies are usually seated on pillows with a bottle instead of being picked up. Babies want to be surrounded physically and emotionally. Only then do they feel “whole”.
No hugs before bed, no lullabies or fairy tales from mom and dad when the lights go out. There’s none of the laughter and chatter that is part of everyday life and growing up in a loving family.
For this reason, these children who grow up in orphanages have developmental problems and have difficulty in establishing positive relationships with other people.
If children are not embraced, they internalize their pain and, as a result, experience delays in IQ, language, speech and vocabulary. Deprived of the regular care and love offered by their parents, they grow up without the necessary sights and sounds. This results in the underdevelopment of children’s brains.
There are problems besides emotional neglect: Physical and sexual abuse.
As a result of this stress, they produce high levels of stress hormones and the architecture of their brains is damaged. A meta-analysis of 75 studies involving more than 3,800 children in 19 countries found that children raised in orphanages have an average of 20 points lower IQ than their peers raised in families. They also experience delays in physical growth such as height and weight.
High levels of apathy, restlessness, disobedience, hyperactivity, anxiety, depression, attention deficit, sleep disorders, eating disorders, and repetitive behaviors such as shaking, head banging, self-harm occur. As a result, these children are more likely to be unemployed, engaged in prostitution, criminal records or victims of human trafficking.
Moreover, children from orphanages are much more likely to place their own children in orphanages, causing the cycle to continue.
The best gift you can give a baby is your loving embrace.
If you want to become a foster or volunteer family or even consider adopting, you can read the terms in the Foster Family, Adoption Association here.
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