From the moment they start to stand on their own feet, people find themselves in a race with others. Although everyone’s goal in this race is to win, in some cases, individuals push themselves back when they could have won. Many people see this situation and get angry and brand these individuals who push themselves back as ‘ungrateful’.
Can this really be interpreted as ingratitude? To answer this question, we will explain the Jonah complex, which was first introduced in history by Abraham Harold Maslow. This situation, which you may be carrying without your knowledge, can put a tough barrier in front of your happy future life. He may even have put it, a few times.
In short, where does this Jonah complex come from?
This situation, which can also be encountered as the Yunus complex, takes its name from the story of the prophet with the same name. Briefly, in the story in question, Hz. Jonah is sent to the city of Nineveh to warn the people there and show the right path. However, the prophet, who moved away from this duty, sets out by ship to the city of Tarshish, contrary to the order.
A strong storm is sent on the prophet who opposes the given order, and those on the ship get rid of the storm by throwing the prophet into the sea. The fish, which most people will remember when they hear it, is Hz. He swallows the dolphin and keeps it in his stomach for 3 days. When he landed again, the prophet fulfilled the order and warned the people of Nineveh and prevented the disaster that befell them.
But Hz. Since Yunus did not use this feature at first, he could not fulfill his potential and withdrew from responsibility. This brought the Jonah complex to the present day.
What are the examples today?
In fact, don’t waste time instead of studying for a lesson that you know will be easy when you study, don’t be late for a job interview that you are sure will be selected, do a job that you can finish right away Instead of dealing with the phone as an example, we can show many situations as today’s examples of the Jonah complex.
The part that makes those who realize these things look from the outside and do not see their inner world starts here:
Why do we avoid these jobs that will actually benefit us?
There are various reasons for this in both personal and social contexts, but we can generally group them under two headings. In the first of these, there is a personal reason to a large extent, while in the other, we see that living connected to the society is effective.
Let’s start with the personal: What we’re running from is responsibility itself
You can be very successful in the job you have now. In fact, you are so good that all your colleagues will think that you will be promoted. Although it is gratifying to see your success at this point, then comes the fear of the new responsibilities that the new position brings.
This makes it less preferable to rise from where you are and embrace new responsibilities and new assignments. As a result, this situation causes you to hold the ropes in your hand relatively more comfortably, even if you do not completely release them. So maybe that promotion that most people dream of will be torture for you before it even starts. As a result, you sabotage yourself. At this point, “What if I can’t?” Thinking also plays a big role.
Of course, it would be wrong to limit this to the business world. It is possible to come across such situations in many areas of life.
You may be holding back to avoid being separated from the community:
With a simple example, a group speaking from school exams Suppose the student is discussing post-exam grades. Let them all take approximate notes to each other and use this as a point of solidarity.
Let one of this group of friends realize that it is not so difficult when he shows enough interest in the lesson, and as a result, he should study and get a higher grade than his other friends in the exam. At this point, an exclusion situation will occur. Of course, this does not mean that they will stop talking to him and never contact him again.
Rather, in the case we are talking about, the student who gets a high grade will be excluded from the talk of the others on the subject of ‘low grade’. Because he is now a student with high grades. He overcame the situation that those with low grades used as a point of solidarity and raised his grade to higher. Well, isn’t it normal for her to feel uneasy because her conversation with her friends has narrowed, even though her grade is quite high?
At this point, he can keep his grades high and pursue a better education life or sabotage himself and stay with his friends. This is exactly where the Jonah complex separates people. If it sounds familiar, you can stop at this point, question your own behavior and continue reading the content. Now let’s come to the term that brings together those who suffer from this condition for both personal and social reasons: Excessive anxiety
Harmful anxieties that overtake people are everywhere, you can’t ‘run away’ from them
Yes, you worry when you get married, even when you hate someone. Likewise, you worry when you like someone, as well as when applying for a job. Anxiety manifests itself in a very large part of our lives. We see this in the Jonah complex as well.
The burden of greater responsibilities is a cause for concern. Likewise, the possibility of individuals being alone when they come to better places is also a cause for concern. All these worries push people to take a step back before they even take action. So what can we do in this situation?
Start with being honest with yourself, objectively:
Instead of putting your personality on the unrealistic advice that the motivation pages tell you, you need to clear up any roughnesses. For that, you have to find them first. Because ignoring these imperfections will not destroy them, you will only be covering them up. This puts you at risk of lying to yourself for a lifetime.
But if you look at it from an objective point of view and see exactly what the problems are and how they are caused and accept them, your chances of coping with them will increase and a better quality of life will be presented to you. You can think of these roughnesses as your concerns. Because if you find the source, it will be easier for you to control them.
In addition, it will be useful to make future plans.
If you pre-determine details such as who is with you and what your situation is when you achieve certain goals, the risk of self-sabotage by improvising becomes less and less likely in the future.
Finally, Maslow’s advice on this is that once you’ve made progress in being objective with yourself, ‘make sure you balance between pride and humility.’
Remember, you are the ones who pull the strings in every situation
Sources: Psychologist Nevzat SARAYCIKLI, Psychology Today, Jonah Calinawan
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