Humanity has been having sex since the day it existed. Although the most basic and primitive reason for this is to continue the lineage and reproduce, we also know that it is possible to have sex based on impulses. People naturally have this urge and they need to have a sexual attraction to choose a partner to have sex with. But not all. Some people feel almost no sexual attraction, and this is called asexuality.
Asexuality has been a well-known concept since the early 2000s. Even though asexual people make up a very small part of the population, they still constitute a number worth investigating. The state of asexuality, which is not considered a sexual disease or sexual inadequacy, constitutes a broad umbrella that includes many different feelings and behaviors. Let’s take a closer look at what asexuality is and who is called asexual.
What is asexuality?
Asexuality is the state of having little or no sexual attraction. Abstaining from sex because of belief or worldview is not asexuality. Likewise, not being able to have sex due to any sexual disease or sexual inadequacy is not considered asexuality.
Asexual people can have sex and masturbate. Having sex or masturbating for immediate libido satisfaction is not considered non-asexual. Even if people do not feel sexual attraction, they may want to enter into romantic and emotional relationships. In other words, it would not be correct to talk about a single feeling and behavior pattern for asexuality.
We can gather people’s feelings about sex and sexuality under three main headings; libido, sexual attraction and sexual attraction. Libido is the primal sex drive. Sexual attraction is the desire to have sex. Sexual attraction is the feeling of finding someone sexually attractive. People tend to have sex with basically these three feelings and desires.
Asexual people can have libido and have sex or masturbate to satisfy their libido. Asexual people may find someone sexually attractive and therefore engage in sex or masturbation. However, sexual attraction, that is, the desire to have sex, is absent or very little in asexual people.
An asexual person; He can have sex for reasons such as satisfying his libido, having children, making his partner happy, experiencing physical pleasure, sharing his love, experiencing the feeling of touch. But the asexual person has little or no sexual attraction to do all this.
Who exactly is called asexual?
We cannot go to someone who does not say ‘I am asexual’ and look at their face and say you are asexual. Because, as can be understood from the definitions, there is no single feeling or behavior pattern. Even if he behaves in known patterns or not, the event ends in the person’s own feelings. Therefore, ask yourself these questions and find out for yourself whether you are asexual or not.
- What does sexual desire mean to me?
- Do I feel sexual desire?
- How do I feel about sex?
- Do I have sex or have an interest in sex just to meet other people’s expectations?
- Is sex important to me?
- When I see attractive people, do I want to have sex with them?
All these questions are questions that one should ask oneself and think about the answers they receive. This is not a test, there are no right or wrong answers. People can try to understand their sexual identity by asking themselves such questions. Of course, you may want to consider getting help from a specialist if what you are experiencing has come to affect your daily life.
Relationships of asexual people:
Asexual people have relationships, get married, have children. As we said, this is not a disease or a disability. It is simply the absence or lack of sexual desire. It has been determined that in relationships without sexual attraction, people experience a mood dependent on some basic attraction.
- Romantic charm.
- Interest in someone’s appearance, ie aesthetic appeal.
- Touching, hugging, physical attraction.
- The predominance of friendship, that is, platonic attraction.
- Emotional attraction.
As can be understood from all these types of attraction, people can have a relationship even if they don’t feel any sexual desire. These are just the detected shooting types. After all, as humans, we are pretty complex creatures. It’s not always easy to understand why we like someone, even when we put aside the sexuality.
Misconceptions about asexuality:
In many different cultures of the world, including our country, people who do not have sex or do not feel sexual desire are accused of many. Thoughts such as having a sexual disease, being sexually incapable, deprived, and that this situation will pass after marriage; Does not apply to asexual persons.
Fear of intimacy, loss of libido, sexual pressure, sexual reluctance, sexual dysfunction are not causes of asexuality. In fact, such situations are much more common in non-asexual people because of anxiety. There is no psychological problem underlying asexuality. Therefore, we cannot talk about a disease that needs to be treated.
Abstaining from sex for religious reasons or waiting for the right person for sex is also not asexuality. In most cases, the social circle is concerned about asexual people. However, there is nothing to worry about. The asexual person isn’t just burning with the desire to have sex, that’s all.
Asexual community and its flag:
Although there are many different communities locally, one of the largest asexual communities in the world is Asexual Visibility and Education, founded in 2001 by David Jay Network, AVEN for short, is Asexual Visibility and Education Network in Turkish. You can access the community’s website via the link here.
The asexual community also has a flag. This flag, which was chosen as a result of voting in August 2010, has four colors and special meanings. Black symbolizes asexuality, gray symbolizes demisexuality, white symbolizes sexuality, and purple symbolizes asexual community.
We answered questions such as what is asexuality, which is a concept that is often misunderstood by the society, and who is called asexual, and we talked about the concepts you need to know about this situation. Maybe the only problem is that society is constantly thinking about other people having sex and not having sex.
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