If the person experiences feelings such as melancholy, disappointment, sadness, regret, guilt, emptiness, lethargy, shame or grief after having sexual intercourse voluntarily, the reason may be post-coital dysphoria. In fact, this problem can be seen not only after sex, but sometimes even after masturbation. In addition, most people may experience this problem at some point in their lives.
In this case, even situations such as depression, anxiety, crying attacks, aggression, panic attacks and anger can be seen. In some people who experience this, the feeling of pleasure from sexual intercourse does not occur at that moment but may occur after the union ends. Then let’s look at the reasons for this complex issue together.
Experts say this may be due to a previous history of trauma, abuse or depression.
According to scientists, if the individual has been psychologically, verbally and physically abused in childhood or youth, this may be a risk factor for experiencing post-coital dysphoria. Likewise, it is thought that someone who struggled with anxiety in childhood may feel dissatisfied after sex because of the possibility that he could not get over the intense anxiety and worry caused by anxiety. Because even if the person is not aware of it, he can be stressed during the relationship because of this psychology he is in.
In particular, negative past sexual experiences can also make the person experience this situation. For example, postpartum depression in women affects their hormones (changes in estrogen levels can cause depression), so having sex during this period can cause them to feel depressed after intercourse. Experts say that women in this period are more likely to experience negative emotions after sexual intercourse.
When we look at this hormone issue in detail; We see that sex is an act that activates hormones such as oxytocin (a sexually stimulating hormone/hormone that regulates blood circulation behind the pituitary gland) and dopamine (provides motivating emotions such as pleasure).
Having an orgasm can also trigger the release of hormones such as prolactin (milk hormone / when it is secreted too much in women, it can cause vaginal dryness, sexual reluctance, painful sexual intercourse / in men, sexual reluctance, erection problems, infertility).
The sudden rise and fall of these hormones during sexual experience can affect the mood of the individual (whether male or female). For this reason, some people may feel this situation more intensely and may experience sadness or anxiety.
Actually, this might sound like an interesting situation. Because even if you love the person with whom you have sexual experience and are very attached, you can experience this situation. Psychologists sometimes state that the inability of a person to give himself too much to his relationship can also cause this problem. In other words, if you have a lover/wife but you are not very warm to her, this problem may occur. For example, if you only have a sex-oriented relationship with your partner, you may experience this situation after the sexual relationship is over, even if you do not have emotional intimacy.
To emphasize again, this does not happen because the person has an unhealthy relationship. Yes, this is also a possibility, but this is not the only reason. Even if the individual is happy in the world in his relationship, he may feel unhappy, depressed and aggressive after sex. In the most general sense, psychologists think that people who experience this problem feel that sex has left them vulnerable because of some traumatic situations they have experienced in the past.
Thus, people can get into a gloom that they cannot make sense of after the relationship is over. Of course, sometimes it can be seen that the problems experienced in the relationship are also reflected in the sexuality. In fact, as there has been very limited research on this subject, experts are not able to speak clearly about what exactly caused this. However, as you can see in all this talk, and as scientists have stated, the problem mostly comes from a psychological origin.
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman states that individuals of all genders can experience this situation in different ways.
For example, if a woman experiences crying or dissatisfaction after intercourse, a man may also experience feelings of anger or disappointment after intercourse. In a study conducted at the Queensland University of Technology in 2015, which included only women, it was found that 46% of 230 participants stated that they experienced negative emotions after sex at some point in their lives.
In a study conducted at the same university in 2018, this time 1,208 male participants were interviewed. As a result, it seems that 41% of the participants suffer from this problem. But let’s not go without saying that more comprehensive research should be done in order to make different inferences about this subject.
Zimmerman states that people who experience this issue and are uncomfortable with it should definitely talk to a specialist. Because the therapist thinks that there may be another psychological condition underlying this, and even if this is not the case, the relationship with the partner should be reviewed. So what do you think about this? You can express your ideas in the comments.
- Sources: WebMD, Psych Central, Insider
- Image Sources: Your Mag, The Guardian, Everyday Health, ABC, Pysch Central, Cosmopolitan, VICE
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