Micro-cheating is the name given to having small intimacy with others even though you are in a relationship. There is no physical intimacy, such as kissing or making love, as in the kind of cheating we know.
These vague acts subtly harm the couple’s romantic relationship. Some couples don’t mind, while others can be seriously hurt. What counts as cheating actually depends on the couple. You know that some couples may also prefer open relationships. That’s why micro-cheating is relative, we’re going to cover it through the relationship of monogamous couples.
So what could be involved in these vague actions?
The following behaviors/thoughts are included in microcheating:
- Being emotionally or sexually electrified with people you find attractive (like being attracted to your coworker even though you are in a relationship)
- Fantasizing about emotional intimacy with others (like having fantasies about your girlfriend’s friend, even if they never materialize physically)
- Sighing and staring at people who are found attractive and beautiful (Sneaking on someone else’s profile on social media and sighing, seeing someone on the road with you down)
- Actions/thoughts such as looking longingly at photos of your ex, imagining him in bed
- Checking for other alternatives when you feel offended in your relationship (Having backups)
- Attempting to satisfy your sexual urges regularly with social media or other digital tools
- Trying to be more well-groomed on days when you know you will see the other person
- Trying not to indicate to the person you are electrified that you are in a relationship (Even if you say it, making sentences like “It’s new, we’ll see in time”)
- Thinking “did he like it, did he look at my story” when you share a photo that you look beautiful on Instagram?
If you are doing these, you may want to ask yourself these questions:
- What would my partner think/feel if he knew I was doing these things?
- Is doing this alienating me from my partner?
- How would I feel if he did?
What does micro cheating in your relationship mean?
This subtle form of cheating often starts spontaneously. The electrification at a business lunch, a message from an old date, or a workout together at the gym can turn into intimacy. Many people live these interactions without turning them into cheating.
There are many reasons for cheating. The person may feel good when they are with the person whose partner they cheated on. When he cheats, he can feel sexier, smarter, more attractive. He may feel invisible, boring, dull when hanging out with his partner. Of course, the person himself can be characterless.
How to deal with micro-cheating in a relationship?
If micro-cheating has become an issue in your relationship, discuss it with your partner. It is important that the person performing the microcheating understands how their partner is feeling and commits to changing their behavior.
When these micro-relationships end, both parties can strive to rebuild their relationship if they wish. Consulting a couples therapist and talking about your partner’s and your own needs can be very helpful in repairing a damaged relationship.
A relationship doesn’t have to end because of a micro-cheating. If both people in a relationship are open to learning their share of the problems in the relationship, willing to learn how to take responsibility for themselves, they can actually build a much better relationship than before.
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