According to Karen Donaldson, a communications and body language expert, people prone to lying tend to fall into one of two categories. First, there are those who understand that what they’re doing is wrong, but don’t care as long as they get what they want. The second group consists of those who are convinced that they are right and that their actions are justified.
In an interview with Entrepreneur, Donaldson recommends using what he calls the “triangle method” to tell them apart, a three-pronged approach that can help you tell if someone is lying to you.
Paying attention to these three areas can really help you tell if someone is being honest with you.
conversation flow
The first thing to note is the person’s “speech flow”. Pay attention to the speed when a person is speaking. Usually, when we tell the truth, our sentences flow naturally. We don’t think too much about things when we talk. We know what’s going on because we actually lived it.
“When people’s speech patterns start to get erratic and pause for too long, when there are many ideas coming up and they pause for a moment, they may be creating stories that fit the situation,” says Donaldson.
Head movements and facial expressions
The second thing to look at is head movements and facial expressions. Even if someone is adept at changing speech patterns, their head movements and facial expressions can reveal the fact that they are lying. Examples of this include staring suddenly up or down, shaking your head up and down when you say you’re not doing something, or shaking your lips when you say you’re doing it, rubbing your lips together after a short fold (as if applying lip balm).
Body language
Finally, it is necessary to pay attention to body language. Predictably, lying stresses people out. That’s why, Donaldson says, when someone isn’t being honest with us, they can engage in self-soothing behavior. Examples of these soothing gestures include scratching or rubbing your neck, touching the tip of your nose after saying something, and using your non-dominant hand excessively.
“When we’re stressed… we touch ourselves tremendously because it’s a nurturing gesture from childhood,” Donaldson tells Entrepreneur. We do this to ourselves.”
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