The golden children’s being loved by their families depends on whether their performance is high or not. In fact, we can say that it is not necessary to be an expert to understand how unhealthy this situation is.
The most striking detail in the golden child syndrome is that parents say that they want their children’s well-being, and in fact, this discourse does nothing but control the children. Unfortunately, the most important support for a child on the way to becoming a golden child is their parents with narcissistic personalities.
Children have to take action to be the best with emotions such as fear and anxiety in order to please their parents. Because these kids have no chance to disappoint their parents!
You are my child, you have to be like me!
In the golden child syndrome, it can be said that parents see their children as an extension of themselves. Parents essentially ignore their own children’s capacity and expect them to always achieve the highest goals.
Such an upbringing is almost a ‘you must be perfect’ signal that has been ingrained in the child’s brain from an early age. The only purpose of the children after this hour is to attract the attention of their parents by showing the excellent performance expected of them. Well, have you ever thought about what kind of profile a child who internalizes the thought of “I should do something to attract attention” at an early age becomes an individual?
Performance is the only condition for being loved for children who are forced to be perfect.
It can be said that when golden children grow up, they do not fully trust themselves, therefore they experience a hidden insecurity. Because these children were brought up to never make mistakes. For this reason, they know very well that they will be sacrificed for the slightest mistake.
These children are also likely to feel worthless later in life. In fact, thoughts such as that if I fail in business in the future, I will not be loved and I will be excluded keep gnawing at their brains. In fact, the biggest problem here is that narcissistic parents do not allow their children to be children!
As they say, “It has grown and shrunk”, that account…
Golden children grow up bumping into their parents’ rigid and controlling attitude. In fact, this growth begins at a very early age. Likewise, children never have time to do what their peers do, as parents already see their children as beings who must constantly satisfy themselves.
The responsibilities imposed on the golden child at an early age; fame, making a name and always success. Golden children so that their parents can form sentences that start with “my child” in the social environment; As a child, he almost killed all his childish, pure feelings.
This tragic situation of children is reinforced by the need to please not only their parents but also everyone they see as authority figures in their later years. Likewise, these children turn into individuals who unquestioningly sacrifice themselves in the future and take every responsibility on themselves. When they do this, they think that they will attract the attention of others, just as they tried to win the favor of their parents in childhood.
If I compete with others, I am loved.
Golden children who are insecurely attached to their parents may struggle outright with others to form emotional bonds with others later in life. In addition, children may want to stay away from others completely or show too much attachment to others.
When golden boys grow up, they are not easily satisfied because they always know they have to work harder. This shows that these children are prone to behaviors such as alcoholism, gambling addiction, and excessive sexuality in their later years. So can a golden boy cope with golden boy syndrome?
Self-compassion, therapy, and keeping boundaries will heal golden children and heal their wounds.
It is said that it is important for the golden children to be able to give themselves the approval they expect from others when needed. Taking therapy to overcome their parental traumas can help them discover their personal limits. Learning to say no and being able to say me first is very effective for the golden boys to show everyone who they are.
Sources: 1, 2
12799
