These days, we have begun to see spouses cheating on each other frequently in TV series and movies. According to the results of the research, the frequent processing of this phenomenon in TV series has led to the conclusion that cheating is common in real life, as well as those who think that TV series are an imitation of real life.
Defined by Professor Gerald R. Weeks (2008), who studies family and couples therapies at the University of Nevada, “sharing an emotional and sexual intimacy with someone other than the primary relationship without the consent of the partner”, infidelity can be on a sexual level as well as on an emotional level. In addition to these two types, a new type of cheating, which is not even considered cheating by most people, has emerged: Virtual Cheating. It is a concept that starts with people who are already in a relationship spending more time with people they meet in the virtual environment than their real partners, and then they have virtual love with these people.
Why do cheaters cheat?
While no normal relationship begins with the intention of cheating, some may end in cheating. Experts say that people who cheat are trying to fill the gaps in their lives. No cheating is justified, whatever the reason, and cheating harms relationships; reveals distrust and disappointments in spouses.
When scientists investigated this phenomenon, which is frequently seen in society and has serious harm to society, they found that deceivers exhibit similar personality traits.
Personality traits of cheating spouses according to psychology research:
lack of self-control
According to the results of the researches, people who lack self-control, that is, people with weak will, cheat more. Not being able to control your emotions and thoughts is a reason for cheating.
being emotionally unstable
Undecided people who do not know what they want have problems in all areas of life. But when it comes to a romantic relationship, the damage they do to the other party is more. Their feelings change quickly, they begin to be unable to get satisfaction from the relationship. This can result in cheating on the partner.
have a low sense of satisfaction
Perfectionism, dissatisfaction with anything can happen in a boss or in a spouse. Such people lead to feelings of inadequacy in their partners. The deceived person experiences the despair of ‘I can’t make him happy no matter what I do’.
low sense of responsibility
Individuals who cannot take responsibility for a relationship have difficulties in staying loyal to that relationship when they start a relationship. They are unable to make the sacrifices necessary for the relationship, and this sometimes leads them to see cheating as an escape from responsibility.
Finding narcissism
Because narcissistic individuals think they are the best, they focus on the shortcomings of other individuals and criticize them. When you realize the missing aspects of the partner in relationships, the thoughts of “I don’t deserve this, why not have a better relationship” occur. This may lead them to seek a new relationship that they think is more perfect. In men, it usually manifests itself as ego satisfaction.
neurotic personality trait
Although this personality trait is not associated with cheating in men, it seems to increase the tendency to cheat in women. This personality trait has features such as seeking out the criminal, being touchy, and a constant need for attention.
Does the cheater deserve a second chance?
Although this is a decision that the deceived person should make himself, if such a thought occurs, family and couple therapy can be obtained from mental health specialists. But even as a result of the therapy received, the wolves that gnaw at the deceived person do not end. It is very difficult to re-establish trust in the partner, who is the person with whom the most intimate secrets are shared.
Regaining trust is also a very painful process for the cheater. Constantly trying to justify himself and dealing with the partner’s negative judgmental thoughts sometimes cause him to give up on the relationship completely.
Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4,
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