In relationships, especially in long-lasting ones, spouses grow and develop together. Over the years, the issue that is complained about in some relationships is that the partner never changes, while in others it is how much it has changed. It would be a mistake to say that these people, who are often claimed to have changed, have changed. Because they try to look perfect at the beginning of the relationship and hide their true personalities.
Studies have shown that people who try to hide themselves are manipulative, selfish, self-righteous, manipulative, insensitive, and impulsive. Researchers have associated these traits with 3 personality traits they call the dark triad: Narcissism, Machiavellianism and Psychopathy.
The dark trio that hides itself
If you notice early on those who show these personality traits in the relationships you have started, you can direct your future with healthier steps. These people may seem brave, sympathetic and determined, but remember, at the end of the day, you are the one who suffers.
Machiavellian personality trait: Every way to reach the goal is permissible.
In 1970, Christie and Geist created a personality scale measuring personality traits, inspired by Machiavelli’s book ‘The Prince’. After that, the concept of the Machiavellian person entered the psychology and sociology literature. Individuals with this personality trait try to appear perfect to others. These individuals are more likely to cheat, lie and betray in their relationships. They think they are smarter than others and try to manipulate others. These people really think badly and are morally problematic.
Quiz: If you hear the following sentences from the other person, this person is probably a Machiavellian:
- What’s the harm in directing people to get what I want if they didn’t do it too.
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So what if I occasionally lie and cheat to achieve my goals?
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Every now and then you’ll flatter people to get what they want, that’s how the world goes.
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My goals are higher, if I use the ranks sometimes, it’s for their own good, they think they’re something.
Narcissistic personality trait: I am in love with myself.
This personality trait, named after Narcissus, who fell in love with him when he saw his reflection in the water, is the second of the personality traits called the dark triad. Those with this personality trait feel unique and privileged. They always expect special treatment for themselves. They want to have authority, to dominate others. They like to be the center of attention. They pride themselves on what they have. They often resort to lies because they have a desire to show that they are perfect.
Quiz: If you’re hearing these sentences, the person you’re talking to probably has a narcissistic personality:
- All people should admire me, envy me.
- When I speak, everyone should shut up and listen to me.
- Everyone should respect me, I should be the highest status person in my environment.
- I deserve to be treated with privilege. Even if someone else is said no, I should be said yes. Nobody can say no to me.
Psychopathy personality trait: remorse or what?
Ethical rules are of no importance for individuals with this personality trait. They do not feel remorse when belittling and mocking people. Human relations of such people are superficial, they have little or no feelings. That’s why their relationship won’t last long.
Test: You often hear the following sentences from the mouths of people with psychopathic personality traits:
- Even if what I did hurt others, I don’t feel guilty, my mind is still on what I can’t do.
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I don’t care about the moral rules of society.
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People can’t influence me, I do what I put my mind to, even if what I do hurts someone else.
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I like making fun of people.
Can people showing these personality traits change?
It is very difficult for people with these personality traits to change. When you meet someone who exhibits these personality traits, the logical move to protect your mental health would be to stay away from these individuals.
Note: The items in the tests created for personality traits were created with reference to the scientific article here.
Sources: 1, 2
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